Many visitors suggest topics that should be dealt with here as well.
Sister Tasneem from the Republic of South Africa suggested to add some sms texts expecially for asking someone "to make maaf". I need some input from you here, though!
Maaf
I have realized that the concept of "maaf" is very prevalent in non-Arab Muslim communities. I, for example, did not know the word and its meaning until I met non-Arab Muslims.
Those Arab Muslims I know are usually confined to the concept of "Tauba" which "only" refers to the communication between us and Allah rather than between people.
What is the difference between MAAF and TAUBA?
One extreme is to think that asking someone to forgive your faults (Maaf) and being forgiven by that person has fully cleared you of the mistake.
But, according to Sheik Ebrahim Abrahams, forgiveness is separate from tauba:
“Whether you ask the person whom you have wronged for maaf or not, if you have done something wrong, you need to repent. You cannot assume that just because you have asked someone for maaf, it is all behind you. Far from it!”.
The other extreme (and I have personally heard that) is to say:
What's the use of asking somebody for forgiveness if I have repented
towards Allah already? There is nothing to talk about!
Well, treating other people kindly and with repect is a fundamental code of manner in Islam. If you had the courage to admit to yourself and your Lord that you were wrong, why not go the small step further and also ask the person you have wrongesd to forgive you? Sure, even if Allah forgives you, that person might not (and vice versa) but it won't kill you if you try to make up with both (hm, alright, depending on the person's character, it COULD be fatal, but then again, you died trying).
Here is my humble opinion: First and formeost, when you have done (or suspect you have done) something wrong repent to Allah. Ask for His fogiveness and try hard to obstain from doing it again. Only if you are sincere, there is a chance that you will be forgiven. That is something between you and your Creator.
The next step is to go and ask the person you hurt to forgive you as well. Be sincere and make sure that persons realizes that you are really asking for forgiveness.
Allah knows best.
I have received and sent a few texts asking for maaf but naturally they are quite personal. This one is rather general:
<<<<
I ask maaf
for all my wrong doings,
for everything I said or did not say,
for everything I did or did not do,
for every bad word that came out from this mouth of mine,
for being a selfish and ignorant friend.
>>>>
I will be grateful for your further suggestions.
4 Comments
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#1
I am an Arab and I agree: Asking someone to forgive a mistake is forgotten by many as they feel that asking Allah comes first. But it should be normal to have good relation with everybody!
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#2
Salamaleikum,
I treated my now ex-wife very badly. I made tauba but today i will tell her the following:
Forgive me if I made you feel disrespected and abused,
Forgive me for thinking that my will was bigger than your right to a personal space and respect,
Forgive me for not acknowledging that and for making you feel guilty about,
Forgive me for not doing something about it.
I will forgive you for not saying anything and never telling me how wrong I was all the time.
May Allah watch over you. -
#3
Forgive me if I hurt you intentionally or un-inentionally.
Forgive me all my transgression and if I made you feel bad.
Forgive my harsh words and all the situations where you needed me and I didn't have time for you.
Allah, I wish I could say this to the one concerned! -
#4
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said but I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out and it hurt so much to hurt you
I'd give anything now to kill those words for you
And you forgive me again cause you're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
(not my own creation, but my very own feelings!) 
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